Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
