It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
