whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i drank out of a bidet.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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