The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
