Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
