so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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