First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.