i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.