the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it