I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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