Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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