you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
