forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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