YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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