Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
