Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
