im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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