I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
