i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
