similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
