The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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