i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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