Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
