she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
