my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
