shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
