It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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