goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Be still, my beating vagina.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
