Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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