You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
