I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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