dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
