I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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