Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
