Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
