this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
