He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
