Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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