Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
