Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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