I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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