if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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