Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
zippers are such a cool invention
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
