Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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