Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
