im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
