Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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