East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
