is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
