lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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