Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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