I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
