Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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