Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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