I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
