Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.

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(424): View more from California

It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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(253): View more from Washington

Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab

(253): View more from Washington

I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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(303): View more from Colorado

My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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(562): View more from California

not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas

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