Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cumguzzlingslut hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?

Fav 2 1762 782
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

Fav 7 2915 757
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(906): View more from Michigan

Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

Fav 12 3023 1609
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.

Fav 12 3227 1032
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

Fav 19 6831 1404
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem

Fav 4 1573 806
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.

Fav 5 1255 998
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.

Fav 0 182 220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.

Fav 0 39 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT