dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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