yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
