It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
