You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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