perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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