dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i barfeds in our rink
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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