too bad you live with your parents still
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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