Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
