Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
