i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
