So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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