did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
