are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We are all done wearing pants today
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
