Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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