It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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